Just My Journal

One YouTube, I watched Jenn Im's My Perfect Imperfections Tag.  The Imperfections My Uneven Eyelids - I'm Chinese American and I have monolids. And my monolids themselves, I've never had a problem with. I've never looked at my eyes and thought, "it'd be nice if I had a crease." Or, "I need eyelid surgery." But the fact that my eyelids were uneven got very apparent when I started to wear makeup in college. Specifically, it's easier to see the lash line on the _ eye, which means I need more eyeliner on my other eye to make them look even.  My Body (Calves and Arms) - I am not very tall. I like to say I'm 5'2" on a good day. Some people who are shorter are proportionally petite. I am not. I was actually supposed to be taller but once I got my first period that stunted my growth. I think if I grew to the height I was "supposed" to be, my arms and legs would look proportionate. My arms just don't look as toned as...

Although a little late compared to others, I'm finally able to say #MeToo... I didn't want to because that guy on the street catcalling me didn't do me any harm, at least not physically. I kept my head high, brushed it off and kept walking towards my destination. Hell, it was even a bit of an ego boost. But I don't remember what he said and to me, and that was enough to convince me that he didn't matter. He wasn't anything more than a guy on the street. I didn't want to because when I started college, I hadn't had my first kiss yet, so when someone seemed interested in me I jumped. I met him in the science building. He was nice enough... but not really my type. But the prospect of finally having my first kiss pushed that thought to the back of my head. We went from one study date to watching movies in his small dorm room on campus. The kiss itself was underwhelming. But it wasn't the kiss that scared me. It was what he did next. How his hand wand...

it's time for a rant. i know everyone has those times. where they just want to let everything out, without fear of judgment or ridicule. well, here's mine. people look at me and i know what they see. someone who gets perfect grades, volunteers, the innocent one. but it's not true. or i guess, that's not everything. i just put on this façade to save my skin. really, i'm weak. when my nana was dying in florida, i couldn't even pick up the phone and make a call. to tell her i love her that i wish we spent more time together. i think distancing myself makes things easier - but in reality, it makes it easier to fall. and i feel so horrible that i didn't pick up that phone. i'm weak. and now, my sister is going through a hard time too. and i'm not there. i'm doing it again, distancing myself. you know what my parents said? "she thinks you're not there for her." do you hear that? it's the sound of my heart breaking. i hate that...