Just My Journal

"Do you want to wait in the car? Or do you want to help start the fire?" Nic asked. It was a cool December night, and the prospect of starting a fire didn't enthuse me. "I'll stay here," I said. As he walked away, I grabbed my phone to update my roommates. It took him a couple of minutes before he came back. Enough to tell them how it was a weird date and how he's nice but I'm not sure yet. The fire was nice, warm. Two chairs were set up, side by side. Nic put a lantern on a tree branch to light our way back. It didn't take long for us to kiss under the stars. It was intense, the kind of kiss where explosions go off in the background. The scent of bonfire lingered long after we left his backyard, and as the fire died out ours didn't. He lead me from the fire pit back the house where we spent the night in the basement. Well, most of the night. I left at 3 AM because I had class the next day, not to mention my roommates were wondering where I...

When people ask how I met you, I like to answer with "online." Although that's the simplified answer, it's the truth. The long answer, we met through an app called Whisper . If you've never used Whisper it's a confession app. People post about anything and everything there. Me? I was posting about my relationship life, or lack of one probably. I don't remember what the confession was that got us talking, probably something along the lines of "just a nice girl looking for a nice guy." You say that you messaged first, although I beg to differ. That's something we still disagree about to this day. We didn't message long before you mentioned dinner. Applebee's for wings. But instead of meeting at the restaurant, you wanted to meet in a parking garage. I was skeptical, to say the least. You wanted to meet there because there were cameras so my car wouldn't get stolen or something like that. And while the cameras made me feel a littl...

That my choices should be knowledge-based, not fear based. Almost every mother says it (I know my mom does). That one phrase that makes you a little more wary as you walk on the street at night, "the worlds a dangerous place." These simple words stick with you and now you're suddenly hyper-aware of everything around you. But as dangerous as the world is, I knew myself. I listened to my gut and I was fine. I kept my head high, I knew where I was, and I made sure other people knew where I was as well. One of my friends even said they knew if they were with me, nothing was going to happen. It's not about avoiding situations because of potential dangers. That's no way to live your (college) life. But it's about knowing them and taking precautions. I probably wasn't as good with money as I thought. I never asked my parents for money. I was pretty aware of what my bank account was because my card didn't get declined. But I didn't stick to a budget....

Although a little late compared to others, I'm finally able to say #MeToo... I didn't want to because that guy on the street catcalling me didn't do me any harm, at least not physically. I kept my head high, brushed it off and kept walking towards my destination. Hell, it was even a bit of an ego boost. But I don't remember what he said and to me, and that was enough to convince me that he didn't matter. He wasn't anything more than a guy on the street. I didn't want to because when I started college, I hadn't had my first kiss yet, so when someone seemed interested in me I jumped. I met him in the science building. He was nice enough... but not really my type. But the prospect of finally having my first kiss pushed that thought to the back of my head. We went from one study date to watching movies in his small dorm room on campus. The kiss itself was underwhelming. But it wasn't the kiss that scared me. It was what he did next. How his hand wand...

Let's just put the fact out there: Donald Trump is the 2016 president-elect Am I thrilled? Not really, but here are my thought's after the past couple days #NotMyPresident - to me it's not about not accepting the results of the election. Instead, it's a sentiment that Donald Trump does not represent the people (and not just in the sense that he lost the popular vote). I would never wish for him to fail, in fact I hope for the opposite. I hope he proves me wrong But in response to the protests and the harsh sentiment towards each other... Peaceful protests are fine, great really! But don't turn into the people you were protesting against in the first place. I always thought the point of protests was to bring awareness. To tell people that being sexist, racist, homophobic, etc is wrong. If that's why you are protesting, great. But if you are protesting in order to diminish those who voted for him, stop You can't dismiss someone's fears about the...

Starting this year, I was in my first semester of Nursing. Now, I'm finishing my second. I stopped playing tennis, made more friends, and had my relationships tested. And now, I'm here to share. First of all, school is not hard. It's one of the easiest things actually. Sure there is a lot of content, but the worst part was timing. I always made time for sleep. For those students who spend sleepless nights studying or working on papers. That's not for me. I always say I need sleep to function. But it's more than that. It's to recharge, refuel, and to give my mind a break. Did I escape with a 4.0 this semester? No. But for one class I was 2 points away from getting an AB - which would make my grades A, AB, AB, AB and I can live with that. But most of all I made time for fun. Going out with friends, to different events, trying new things. Sure, being known as a book worm isn't the worst thing in the world. But, I want to be more than that. With tennis, am I...

what is such the big deal with snapchat? i mean, i know it's a fun app, i certainly enjoy using it. but the top three friends feature is just causing problems lately. for example... a girl has a boyfriend/ guy she's been seeing. she is his top friend on snapchat for while. it's a good sign: you two are talking and you're his favorite person to be talking to. but one day, she checks his top friends and (dun dun dun) it isn't her. instead (judging from the screen name) it's a different girl. and so she freaks out and starts to worry and gets jealous etc. this situation has certainly happened to me, but i've never reacted that way. instead i kinda just brush it off. i know where i stand with this guy and i like where it's going. as far as i know, i'm the only girl he's seeing and he's never given me a reason not to trust him. so really, what reason do i have to be jealous? maybe it's just me or maybe i should be worried? but right no...

it's the timeless question: how do you know when you're in love? maybe it's the feeling of butterflies in your stomach when you see them pass by maybe it's the tingling feeling down your spine when you catch them looking at you the red blush that comes across your face when you can't help but smile when you look at them maybe i can't tell you what the feeling of being in love is because it's different for every person i know there's a difference between loving someone and being in love with them but here's what love is for me it's being able to do anything with them and still have a good time it's feeling at home when i'm with him it's being able to sleep in his bed and he's willing to sleep somewhere else - just because he's a gentleman that way when he's being weird and tucking me in at night, throwing me the "good pillow" just because when i wake up earlier than him and have to stay quiet beca...

it's time for a rant. i know everyone has those times. where they just want to let everything out, without fear of judgment or ridicule. well, here's mine. people look at me and i know what they see. someone who gets perfect grades, volunteers, the innocent one. but it's not true. or i guess, that's not everything. i just put on this façade to save my skin. really, i'm weak. when my nana was dying in florida, i couldn't even pick up the phone and make a call. to tell her i love her that i wish we spent more time together. i think distancing myself makes things easier - but in reality, it makes it easier to fall. and i feel so horrible that i didn't pick up that phone. i'm weak. and now, my sister is going through a hard time too. and i'm not there. i'm doing it again, distancing myself. you know what my parents said? "she thinks you're not there for her." do you hear that? it's the sound of my heart breaking. i hate that...

out of all of the seven deadly sins - greed, gluttony, pride, lust, anger, envy, and sloth - envy i think is by far the worst. its the one that hurts the people around you the most. for example, my roommate is/was dating another guy in the dorm ( its complicated doesn't even begin to describe it). when they are together, the guy in the relationship gets really jealous about her being even remotely close to another guy. first of all, jealousy equates to not trusting the other person. if you don't trust your partner then why are you with them?! also, its not pretty or appealing on anybody. its okay to be mad at your partner if they did something wrong, but if they aren't then stop worrying about them. having a reason is completely different than just speculating going back to my roommate, when they weren't in a relationship, she would get really jealous about the girls her ex would hang with. she would call the other girl ugly and a slut and all kinds of words. ...

its valentines day again for some its an excuse to treat your girl to something nice for others its a day where you are reminded that you have somehow failed in the battle called love - that's kinda harsh i think we need to change this we blame society for all of the negativity about body image or relationships but we always forget - we are society love and relationships are hard enough without the critique of others be happy, if not for yourself today, for everyone who has someone to be happy with i am 18 and, truth be told, i am terrified about the thought of being in a relationship im scared about the possibility of hurt hurting myself and hurting others but theres a catch as well if you are in a relationship and are hurting the other person because you are cheating or doing something selfish... then leave the relationship! staying around because you don't know how to say goodbye or whatever your reason is will cause more pain in the end don't cheat but ...