From the Girl Who's too "Strong" to Say #MeToo
Although a little late compared to others, I'm finally able to say #MeToo...
I didn't want to because that guy on the street catcalling me didn't do me any harm, at least not physically. I kept my head high, brushed it off and kept walking towards my destination. Hell, it was even a bit of an ego boost. But I don't remember what he said and to me, and that was enough to convince me that he didn't matter. He wasn't anything more than a guy on the street.
I didn't want to because when I started college, I hadn't had my first kiss yet, so when someone seemed interested in me I jumped. I met him in the science building. He was nice enough... but not really my type. But the prospect of finally having my first kiss pushed that thought to the back of my head. We went from one study date to watching movies in his small dorm room on campus. The kiss itself was underwhelming. But it wasn't the kiss that scared me. It was what he did next. How his hand wandered and how I wasn't ready. It wasn't his fault, how was he supposed to know I was so inexperienced - at least that's what I thought. I stopped it and walked away feeling worse than ever. But just because that's how my first kiss went, that didn't mean my next kiss would be like that. And again I brushed it off.
I didn't want to because I said no... and as the night went on I agreed. He comforted me, and we had done it before. So why not tonight? If people can change their minds and say no, why can't we change our minds and say yes? That's what I told myself that night.
So yeah, #MeToo. Because these instances are only a couple of the many that have happened to me. But I thought those things couldn't have happened to anyone as strong or as smart as me... so I minimized them. And in essence, I became a part of the problem. Maybe I should have been louder, took those instances at face value. Because even though they were bad... I never thought that they were bad enough. Other girls had way worse experiences than me like physical violence and emotional abuse. But it still doesn't take away the fact that it happened.
Your experiences are not small just because others had worse ones.
I didn't want to because that guy on the street catcalling me didn't do me any harm, at least not physically. I kept my head high, brushed it off and kept walking towards my destination. Hell, it was even a bit of an ego boost. But I don't remember what he said and to me, and that was enough to convince me that he didn't matter. He wasn't anything more than a guy on the street.
I didn't want to because when I started college, I hadn't had my first kiss yet, so when someone seemed interested in me I jumped. I met him in the science building. He was nice enough... but not really my type. But the prospect of finally having my first kiss pushed that thought to the back of my head. We went from one study date to watching movies in his small dorm room on campus. The kiss itself was underwhelming. But it wasn't the kiss that scared me. It was what he did next. How his hand wandered and how I wasn't ready. It wasn't his fault, how was he supposed to know I was so inexperienced - at least that's what I thought. I stopped it and walked away feeling worse than ever. But just because that's how my first kiss went, that didn't mean my next kiss would be like that. And again I brushed it off.
I didn't want to because I said no... and as the night went on I agreed. He comforted me, and we had done it before. So why not tonight? If people can change their minds and say no, why can't we change our minds and say yes? That's what I told myself that night.
So yeah, #MeToo. Because these instances are only a couple of the many that have happened to me. But I thought those things couldn't have happened to anyone as strong or as smart as me... so I minimized them. And in essence, I became a part of the problem. Maybe I should have been louder, took those instances at face value. Because even though they were bad... I never thought that they were bad enough. Other girls had way worse experiences than me like physical violence and emotional abuse. But it still doesn't take away the fact that it happened.
Your experiences are not small just because others had worse ones.
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