Just My Journal

Time for another rant, today it's about #StopAsianHate. Being adopted, I hesitate to post about this issue. Growing up, my parents always celebrated the fact that I am Chinese, and therefore I never felt shame about the color of my skin or around my appearance. And while I may have looked different, I never felt like I had to try to fit in, I never had to feel welcome. Today, that makes me hesitate, because it feels like my anger and sorrow is somehow less valid... and effectively, I'm silencing my own voice.   But when I see these acts of hate and violence, I realize those who perpetrate these acts don't see my past of my family - all they see is my race. And that makes me just as vulnerable as any other Asian.  I don't want to stay silent, I can't.   It's not "Chy-na," its China  WE are not viruses, RACISM is.  WE are not your model minority.  WE belong here. I belong here. 

I got married this past weekend! One of the most useful things for future brides I believe is recommendations and reviews.  Venue  St. James 1868 The Hyde   10/10!!! We specifically used The Hyde part of St. James. You can rent the whole property which includes the Abbey, but we decided against it. If you're thinking of a Photo Booth, live wedding painter, stuff like that you may want to rent both. Also with the Hyde you don't get the court yard until later if there is a wedding in the Abbey on the same day. We had ~100 guests and didn't feel cramped in there at all. JSYK we opted out of the Photo Booth.  The property itself is beautiful! We added on the coordinator and worked with Danielle. She was amazing, totally worth it, and the day was perfect. There was a forecast for potential rain, but we made it through the ceremony and cocktail hour without a drop. Would 100% get married here again.  There is a getting ready room for the ladies which is another fee. B...

First of all, I am in no way a financial expert or someone experienced enough to give financial advice. Rather, I think having a money conversation is something that shouldn't be intimidating. And talking about money shouldn't be taboo. So if you're interested hearing my story and my tips, keep reading.  Background  I went to a small private college in Madison, WI. Based on my GPA, I was eligible for the college's Presidential Scholarship ($21K a year). I also got around $10K worth out outside scholarships. I am also very lucky to say that my parents helped me while I was in college so I could focus on my studies. But once I graduated, I was on my own.   I graduated on time in May 2017 with a BSN in Nursing and with $31K worth of debt. I took my NCLEX in June and started working pretty much right away in July/August.  In the beginning, I didn't really know much. All I knew was (1) I'm auto enrolled to make minimum monthly payments and (2) eventually those automa...

  This year I've fallen back in love with journaling... so I decided to let you know what's on my journal shelf, starting off with #1.  #1 My Learning Notebook In here I write down all the things I want to learn more about. For example major nursing topics like ACLS/BLS, the cardiac cycle, etc. I also have a section dedicated to finances, like the Baby Steps by Dave Ramsey, the 10 Levels of Financial Independence, types of budgets, etc. You get the idea.  #2 Calligraphy Made Easy by Ashley Gardner  Calligraphy is so beautiful so I decided to try my hand at it. It's a skill so you HAVE to practice, which is annoying. What made me realize it does NOT come easily was watching  Jazza try calligraphy ... his first attempt made me cry for the ink pen. Along with this book I also enjoyed this  calligraphy practice sheet  as it gave me something other than letters to try and ink. I'd say my calligraphy got way better with just this sheet! Practice makes perman...

Tanning Salons As a 5 billion dollar industry, it's no wonder that tanning salons still exist. I've only ever gotten a spray tan (and a free one at that), but I could never imagine exposing my skin to a tanning bed knowing what I know. Tanning salons are everywhere and even my gym has tanning beds for people to use! According to the  American Academy of Dermatology , if used before the age of 35, indoor tanning bed increase the risk for melanoma by 59%. It also has a compound effect, putting you at higher risk each time you tan. The UV light from a tanning bed is a known carcinogen and therefore, it's the AADA stance that "no person or facility should advertise the use of any UVA or VB tanning device using working such as 'safe,' 'safe tanning,' 'no harmful rays,' 'no adverse effect,' or similar working or concepts." My promise to myself in 2020 is that I will never go into a tanning bed. Smoking Cigarettes I'm lucky enoug...

I recently read an article about how a 4-year-old died from the flu in Colorado. At the end of the article, the mom states, "... and it feels like we failed him because we did what we had to do." Worried, and searching for advice, this mom tried Vitamin C, Vitamin D, Elderberry, and Zinc. And despite these remedies recommended by fellow members of a Facebook group, her son didn't survive. But what if I told you, she had already took her son to the doctor? How the doctor already prescribed Tamiflu , but she didn't pick it up. How those recommendations for Vitamin C "until diarrhea," and peppermint oil didn't break her son's fever that caused a seizure. The fact is this Anti-Vax Facebook group and mother did fail her son. What's the point of going to the doctor if you aren't going to follow his recommendations and prescriptions? "I am a momma freaking out all alone in this, with a family who believes in [no] natural ways... they are m...

One YouTube, I watched Jenn Im's My Perfect Imperfections Tag.  The Imperfections My Uneven Eyelids - I'm Chinese American and I have monolids. And my monolids themselves, I've never had a problem with. I've never looked at my eyes and thought, "it'd be nice if I had a crease." Or, "I need eyelid surgery." But the fact that my eyelids were uneven got very apparent when I started to wear makeup in college. Specifically, it's easier to see the lash line on the _ eye, which means I need more eyeliner on my other eye to make them look even.  My Body (Calves and Arms) - I am not very tall. I like to say I'm 5'2" on a good day. Some people who are shorter are proportionally petite. I am not. I was actually supposed to be taller but once I got my first period that stunted my growth. I think if I grew to the height I was "supposed" to be, my arms and legs would look proportionate. My arms just don't look as toned as...

There are plenty of things in the world that piss me off, these are a couple of them. This article describes how Jessica's rapist still has visitation rights to her sons. She was raped multiple times when she was a teenager and now has two sons. In addition, she miscarried once and another son died due to "a disease common in cases of incest." Her rapist and step-uncle was never convicted, despite DNA evidence. How in the world is someone not convicted despite DNA evidence ! Especially if this is happening multiple times. And for her family to not only allow this to happen, but to encourage it, is disgusting. Apparently she was also forced to marry her step-uncle. In Alabama, rapists still have their rights, which is insane! So the judge told Jessica, with each visitation denied, she would have to spend 48 hours in jail. So you're telling me you want a pedophile rapist to have visitation rights to two young boys? Guess I'll never visit Alabama. Shall we m...

I tried out the  Fetch Rewards App last week and this is my first impression. How Does It Work? Fetch is based on a point system, and once you reach 3,000 points you can redeem them. Once I hit 5,000 points, I redeemed them for a $5 Amazon gift card. It was easy, the Fetch App can e-mail you the code and then you just enter it into your Amazon account like any other gift card. If you don't scan your receipt immediately, no worries. You have a couple days to scan them in. You do so just by taking a picture of your receipt. Got a long one? Just snap your receipt in segments to get everything in. You can snap pics from any store: Target , Walgreens, Pick 'N Save, etc... I've tried all of the above and I gotten points from all three. Will I continue to use the Fetch Rewards App? 100% and if you're interested in it, try using my referral code 4XXUF and we'll both get 2,000 points immediately. I wouldn't be recommending it if I didn't try and enjoy i...

Safety . It's a common word around the hospital. You may have heard the phrase, "do no harm." It's because doctors and nurses have the potential to do a lot of harm. Prevention of falls, infections, medication errors... Patient safety is huge. But while the patient may be the first person someone thinks of when they hear the words "safety" and "hospital" together, what about the caregiver? During January of this year. nurse practitioner Carlie Beaudin was found frozen beneath her car, beat to death. And in April, Lynne Truxillo died from complications after being attacked from a patient. Working in the healthcare field puts nurses on the front lines. It makes us vulnerable. And the patient's we take care of put us at the biggest risk. Verbal and physical abuse are a reality. Cursing, swearing, hitting, biting, rape... It's not acceptable. Ever. Being a nurse isn't a safe profession. In a year, 1 in 5 nurses or nursing assistan...

Thanks for coming in at 11 PM while we're trying to make your mother comfortable enough to sleep. Thank you for coming to see your mom for 30 minutes, I've just been here for hours. Making sure she gets pain pills without oversedating her. It's been a problem in the past, and I don't want to create another one for her now. She can't move that well on her own. So it's not a problem when a nurse or a nursing assistant use a gait belt and a Sara Steady just to get your mom from the bed to the chair and back again. Actually, two people are needed just for this one task to make sure she's safe. And sometimes two people are needed to reposition her every two hours - in reality even more frequently because she's so uncomfortable laying down or sitting.  She gets anxious. So anxiety meds have been ordered and changed for her. But it's not enough. So she asks me to hold her hand. She gets lonely, so we called the chaplain, volunteer services, and art ...

"Did you hear about another school shooting today?" They asked me. "Ten people, Texas." I didn't even flinch when they told me. And for the record, no I didn't know. I just keep watching Netflix on my laptop. Did you read that? The fact that another 10 people are dead due to gun violence didn't even phase me. I've become numb to news like that. And it's as if it has to happen close to home for me to even care. But I don't want that to be the reason I care. Because how tragic would that be? At least for the people who live here. I'm so sick of thoughts and prayers . While they're good intentions, that's all they are - intentions. Where's the action ? I know it's out there, somewhere. I just wish I could get back to the place where a school shooting, or any shooting, actually mattered to me.

"Do you want to wait in the car? Or do you want to help start the fire?" Nic asked. It was a cool December night, and the prospect of starting a fire didn't enthuse me. "I'll stay here," I said. As he walked away, I grabbed my phone to update my roommates. It took him a couple of minutes before he came back. Enough to tell them how it was a weird date and how he's nice but I'm not sure yet. The fire was nice, warm. Two chairs were set up, side by side. Nic put a lantern on a tree branch to light our way back. It didn't take long for us to kiss under the stars. It was intense, the kind of kiss where explosions go off in the background. The scent of bonfire lingered long after we left his backyard, and as the fire died out ours didn't. He lead me from the fire pit back the house where we spent the night in the basement. Well, most of the night. I left at 3 AM because I had class the next day, not to mention my roommates were wondering where I...

When people ask how I met you, I like to answer with "online." Although that's the simplified answer, it's the truth. The long answer, we met through an app called Whisper . If you've never used Whisper it's a confession app. People post about anything and everything there. Me? I was posting about my relationship life, or lack of one probably. I don't remember what the confession was that got us talking, probably something along the lines of "just a nice girl looking for a nice guy." You say that you messaged first, although I beg to differ. That's something we still disagree about to this day. We didn't message long before you mentioned dinner. Applebee's for wings. But instead of meeting at the restaurant, you wanted to meet in a parking garage. I was skeptical, to say the least. You wanted to meet there because there were cameras so my car wouldn't get stolen or something like that. And while the cameras made me feel a littl...

Saving money is important. As if you needed this blog post to tell you that. But how do you save money? And while not all of the tips I'm going to share with you are feasible for everyone, hopefully, you'll read at least one thing that applies to you. Start looking for jobs before you graduate Yes, you do have a grace period after college before loan payments start. But trust me, those six months will fly by. Between the application process, interviews, and finding time between classes to travel for interviews, the earlier you start this process the better. I was lucky enough to find a nursing job before I graduated from college. It is in Milwaukee which is close to my hometown. Which leads me to my next tip... Consider moving back home after college I know, I know. Moving back home sounds like the worst thing ever. You've already been out of the house for a couple years and moving back home means sacrificing your independence. But if your home life isn't terrible...

That my choices should be knowledge-based, not fear based. Almost every mother says it (I know my mom does). That one phrase that makes you a little more wary as you walk on the street at night, "the worlds a dangerous place." These simple words stick with you and now you're suddenly hyper-aware of everything around you. But as dangerous as the world is, I knew myself. I listened to my gut and I was fine. I kept my head high, I knew where I was, and I made sure other people knew where I was as well. One of my friends even said they knew if they were with me, nothing was going to happen. It's not about avoiding situations because of potential dangers. That's no way to live your (college) life. But it's about knowing them and taking precautions. I probably wasn't as good with money as I thought. I never asked my parents for money. I was pretty aware of what my bank account was because my card didn't get declined. But I didn't stick to a budget....

Although a little late compared to others, I'm finally able to say #MeToo... I didn't want to because that guy on the street catcalling me didn't do me any harm, at least not physically. I kept my head high, brushed it off and kept walking towards my destination. Hell, it was even a bit of an ego boost. But I don't remember what he said and to me, and that was enough to convince me that he didn't matter. He wasn't anything more than a guy on the street. I didn't want to because when I started college, I hadn't had my first kiss yet, so when someone seemed interested in me I jumped. I met him in the science building. He was nice enough... but not really my type. But the prospect of finally having my first kiss pushed that thought to the back of my head. We went from one study date to watching movies in his small dorm room on campus. The kiss itself was underwhelming. But it wasn't the kiss that scared me. It was what he did next. How his hand wand...

Hello again! It's been a good two years since I last updated my skin care routine, and it's been a while since I told you about some of my empties - so why not combine the two. Let's start with empties. Age Perfect Cell Renewal Day Cream  by L'Oreal is a good day cream, but it doesn't absorb into my face as fast as I would like and left it feeling a little too oily than I would prefer. Probably wouldn't buy again... And now for (empty) skin care. During high school, I was one of the lucky ones who didn't have too much acne. Maybe it's partially thanks to birth control. But I was only acne prone during puberty, at which time I had bangs which I think contributed to my forehead breakouts. Once I got to college, my acne took a turn for the worse. I looked at facial mapping, watched beauty influencers on YouTube for the best products, and went to a couple dermatologists. What the dermatologists forgot to account for was my change in location. I rec...

(This will be continuously updated as I find mnemonics I like) Remember, the best mnemonics are the ones you actually remember!  If you aren't going to remember it, or can't remember it easily, then there's no reason you should be using brain space for it. Nursing Process (AD PIE) Assessment, Diagnosis, Planning, Implementation, Evaluation Remember before administering something (like a pain medication), you have to assess ABCD's Airway, Breathing, Circulation (bleeding), disability (neuro check) Do not  delegate what you can EAT! Evaluate, Assess, Teach  + An unstable patient or medications  Airborne Precautions MTV on the AIR waves... measles, TB, varicella, VRSA  Private room, negative pressure, N95 mask Electrolyte Range Acronym Miss Piggy & Kermit Came Home on Cloud Nine Magnesium, phosphorus, potassium (K), calcium, bicarbonate (HCO3), chloride, sodium (Na) The electrolytes go in increasing ranges  Magnesium 1.5-2...

There are a lot of posts online about people's NCLEX experience... well here's mine. I graduated with a BSN at Edgewood College on May 21st and I took the exam on June 28th. This gave me a little more than a month to study for the exam of a lifetime. Not to mention, during this month I moved back home, my sister left for Navy boot camp, and we were packing up to move on July 1st... It was hectic to say the least. Materials I Used Saunder 2016-2017 Strategies for Test Success (4th edition). Because I had this book from a previous nursing class, I had access to the Evolve Elsevier  book online. On the website, there were over 1200 questions and while it was good to start with, the rationales weren't the best (definitely look at the other tips as well, not just the rationales). I usually used "study" mode so I could see the rationales and the correct answer right away. Like many, I learn best when I get a question wrong. I went through most of the questions. I ...